Spells
you are not your exterior, and you will never be. you desire positive connections with others because our energy is meant to reach different planes of existance together. division is wrong. division causes people sadness, anger, hate, all bad emotions that allow negative energy to run through you. push you to act different from your true being, and in a lot of cases it causes you to harm yourself. when ive encountered people that tell or show me that they harm themselves because they are suffering from depression it overwhelms me with remorse. using our animalistic ways against us theyve manipulated the human race into a thoughtless consuming machine. this may sound like a stupid "jab at the man" or something a conspiracy ridden hippie would talk about. but im not saying wake up to the injustice because thats a given. you should always look at what is driving every action of every person. it lets you know what kind of path they are on, or what kind of energy they thrive on. so im going to make this short. start looking into yourself, into your pure being. see the energy around you, how controls, how you can control it. and always be aware of negative energy and never let it possess your mind. i just ask you to start looking inside yourself . and let go of this ego society has shaped for you, meditation is a great way to do this, and the cheat sheet way to bypass years of mediation is psychoactive drugs but if you harbor a lot of negative energy or youre carrying it without even realizing you will be ensured to have an awful time. and what im asking you to do is look inside your and connect withyour pure being and live through it. so you dont get stuck or lost. if you have any questions or would like to start looking in yourself more and need a little help or guidance. i would be extremely happy to help. i hope this blog made a little of sense. im not really a fan of words.
no more living through others eyes and thoughts.
just remember if you allow it the answers will pour through you.

-

What do you think about all these different sub cultures such as "emo kids, scene kids, metal-heads, punks, goths, etc?"
Fuck all that crap. I wish everyone didn’t feel the need to attach themselves to some stupid fucking word and pretend that that’s the way they've always been or say "that’s just who I am". Its like, "no, what you are a consumer, obviously. You bought into something and tried to call it your own, but it’s not yours, you belong to it. It’s not an exclusive club, it’s not edgy, all you need is money and a weakened sense of identity and you can join."

-
today i was inspired by two amazing guys
i think i have fallen secretly inlove

this actually made my day, for sure :')

okay, this is how the storie goes.
firstly, matt's statues says:
"I'm gonna be like the only single guy in FFTL soon. DO i have cooties?"
i somewhat got amused and gave him that one comment out of fdbfsdbsjIDK, 100 people? saying: "HA! i'll be your g/f with or without cooties if you gave me 1 million dollars ;)" and he pretty much lurked my page back just to reply to me... matt gud srsly needs a life(lol jks) but i love him to much to hate on him hahahaha
he's soo hilarious and gives the cutest comments ever
ihavenoideawhyiamsolucky -____-
and...

(bottom to top)

sean is an awesome douche, even tho this was old
(couple of weeks ago?)
i am a true asshole
IHH yet LHSFM HAHAHHA

current mood: sleepy
current music: tonightless - eighteen visions

"YO VANITYSIXX"
"VANITYSIXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX"
"DO YOU REMEMBER ME?"
"IT'S ME, THE DRUMMER OF DAUGHTERS"
"... jon syverson? jon syverson is that you?"
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN THE COLOR OF VIOLENCE CHATROOM?"
"better yet, why are you talking on COV's username? D:"
"i'm the new drummer for them that's why"

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAILYJONSYVERSON
YOU ARE INCREDIBLE

current mood: amused
current music: la mer - nine inch nails

what a night to remember<3

i srsly need to write a blog for the time i met fftl. i mean, i'm forgetting most of the things that happened already!
well first off, i remember going to NIN, stoked as always, buying my tickets, waiting in line, trying to waste time till the gate open and chilling/meeting up with mates who were going aswell.
when the gate opened, my mate and i literally ran for it pushing our way in(since we were small compared to the people there) and eagerally waited for NIN at the seating area first because there was no way we were going to wait in the mosh pit when the front barrier is filling with V.I.P-NIN(we had to wait 3 hours before they could go on aswell)
anyways, waiting in our seat we had a really nice conversation with a man that been to many shows. he seem to remember me from somewhere but i doubt it(hahaha)
apparently 'all asian look alike' in other people's prospective so i don't give a damn if they seen me or not. i just simply tell them that they're mistaken but please do talk to me so we can get to know each other now and not from before

anyways after waiting for what seems like forever, a band called 'jaguar love' went on stage and i thought the singer looked hella female by the way he moved and sung -____-
and the worst thing was that i listen to them LOLLLLLLLL
they were alright live but i liked them on the CD wayyyy better because they kept screeching and i really wanted NIN to be on
jaguar love went off with people telling them to play something better, my friend and i decided to go to the mosh pit leaving my sister alone(sadly she didn't want to stand). the wait for NIN was insane with alot of people already pushing and sweating. it was disgusting in a very comfortable way. i had alot of old people swaying around me(HA) i loved/hated it at the same time and when NIN finally came on, the mosh pit became worst! i lost my friends when they began played 'the frail'
got trent reznor's water bottle but gave up on holding it(it was still full and this bitch next to me kept trying to grab it so i threw it somewhere hahah). got these girls at the back of me playing with my hair saying how it's soooooo 'straight'. they didn't think i notice but i apparently did with how hard they were pulling it
had some dude's chest rub against me, people touching me and crowd surfers feet hitting me in the head far too much so i pulled out when NIN blackout with the whole street with it hahahhahahaha it was hilarious

went back to my sister and waited for 30mins for NIN to go back on. kept watching this lighting guy headbang and jump around like a fool when they played 'la mer', which was one my favourite song considering how hot it was and how air-con was now blowing from the vents. it was perfect. the lighting guy however was the BIGGEST douchebag because even when it was a soft song, he would hell bang like mad making me LOL so much
NIN was finish so i decided to call up my friend to meet up with me so i went downstair to see her and when i did, i saw a guy with orange hair and a face i recognized...
i then analyze the group he was hanging out with and saw it was infact FFTL and the person i first recognized was derek bloomm
i then stopped dead in my tracks and told my friend it was freckon FFTL and what the hell are they doing there?
my friend obviously stated that they were here for soundwave and my sister told me just to go to them beause i 've been a fan for about 4 years now so fgsdifdsfdjfbjs

i slowly approached matt good and tapped him on the shoulder and quietly said, "are you matt good from from first to last?"
"yeah, what's up?"
O__________________O

at this point, i was totally freaking out and couldn't say anything
i kept looking back and forth at my friends and sister so he had to say it again.
"what's up?"
my sister had to then yell out "TALK TO HIM YOU CHICKEN SHIT!" and had matt looking at her so she walked away with my friend(who had to go)
i then said, "i'm good" which was the most stupidest moment of my life without a doubt
he then poked me(aka; my braclet) and turned back to the front then back to me and said "did you go to warped tour?"
"you mean soundwave?"
"oh no, warped tour because my friend jac vanek sells those braclets"
"ohhh, i got this online. where's yours btw?"
*lifts up arm* "apparently i don't have it here now. mine says touble btw"
*smack head mentally because i forgot what his braclet had*

we then had to walk along the exit because many people were walking trying to get out so we started talking again.

"so, are you going to the forum to see us?" - matt
"ohhh i'm not real sure because i have school and everything! i really want to tho" - me
"hahah yeah, i've been real sick lately but i've been taking alot of medicine so my voice is all good now" - matt
"hahah yeah, i prefer your voice more than sonny moore btw" - me
"what?"(he couldn't hear me) - matt
"i prefer your voice more than sonny!!!!" - me
"ahaww really? your a legit fan because most people likes sonny's voice than mine so thank you!!!" - matt
"no, thank you!" 8'D - me
"you should really come to our show, we'll love it if you went" - matt
"yeah i'll tryyyyy" *matt had to go because fftl were calling him* - matt
*me walking back to my sister and cheezin like mad*
"HE'S SOOOO NICEEEE!!!" - me
"hahahaha you guys seemed really close. he looked like he was cliggying on to you and he seem to really like you" - sister
"he was? fbdsjkfbdski'm a douche, he hates me haha shit i didn't get a picture with him! should i go back and ask?" - me
"yeah, go for it'" - sister
*walking back to matt. matt sees me and turns*
"matt, can i have a photo before i go?" - me
"yeah sure dude" - matt
*matt and i stand next to each other and get ready. i then bear hug him, he tenses and then relax*
"no, stand there" - sister
*matt and i move yet again*
"hahaha i don't think we should stand here because were blocking the way" -matt
*sister trys to take photo*
"... there's no memories!" - sister
"are you serious?!?!?" *take phone from sister and start deleting* - me
"hahahhaahah are you serious you guys don't have memories for your phone?" - matt
"SHE DID BUT SHE DOESN'T DELETE HER MESSAGES!!!" - me
*i go back to matt, bear hug him again ahhaha. we then get ready for the photo. *
"1.. 2..." - sister
"hey, do you want me to take the photo so you'll be in it?" - some girl
"errrmm..." -sister
"HELEN!!!!" - me
"fine" - sister
*give the girl the phone and goes next to me*
"why don't you go next to matt so the photo looks better?" - me
"nahh.. i wouldn't wanna" - sister
*get ready for photo and finally it's taken*
*girl pretends to run away with my sisters phone*
"hahah joking!" - some girl
*sister gets phone back*
"thank you again! nice meeting you aswell, byeeee!" - me
"byeee!" *waves* - matt

*waiting at the back of hordern pavillion*
"i give up waiting, they're not going to get out" - me
"fine" - sister
*we see FFTL again and matt walks up to us*
"hahaha you're not like a normal fan are you?" - matt
"hahahaWHAT?!" - me
"i mean that most of our fans would wait till we go but you just went hahaha joking" - matt
"ohhh, hahaha i didn't want to bother you that's why." - me
"hahahha oh right. come to the forum alright?!" - matt
"fineee, byeeeeeee!"
"byeeee"

fvdsjfbjbfdsjbfdsbhkcxvcv
TO BE CONTINUE
<333

so this afternoon after school, i saw one of my all time good friend named aaren walking along the street. when he saw me, he literally dragged me through the side walk with him and i was walking in a really awkward side step kind of way
"are we going on an adventure? it better be good because you're making me walk like a crab. hey would you still be into me if I was a crab?"
"well yeah, i guess so, but where would i put my dick?"

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
HE AT MY HOUSE EATING ALL MY FUCKING FOOOOOOOOD!!!1!
and all i get in return are cuddles+shitsandgiggles
lamedsfjsdfjfsdfjsjjdfjsjdjfjksdfbdsk
mona and i had an epic conversation about things today
she made my day feel TONS better<3

have to go do my geography class assessment now. year 10 sucks, sport selections sucks, sport in general sucks and the blinding hot weather in autumn sucks. i wish it was winter already
current mood: merry
current music: lust for life - iggy pop

HAHAHHAHAHAHAH

apparently i'm one of fftl's top listeners
i feel awesome and honored : )
get a lastfm and add me plzzzzzzzz. i've already been listening to music '5130'
STOKED TO GO TO '6000', just give me a day or so and you watch

i've been overwhelmingly tired over these last few weeks and i have no idea why
my immune system is getting weaker by the hour and the word anger definitely defines how i emotionally feel today
i'm constantly worried about everything and should really consider taking school more seriously
better yet, be social with outsiders again
today i had a really nice conversation with one of my parent's customers. she had the most intense colour of wild red in her hair that it kinda bloomed everytime she played with her hair.
she was quite amazing to be honest. she even recommended me some books and we talked about some of the bands she knew. her music range was awesome and we talked about how we both hated being in 'the crowd', it was epic
she loved me overall with how wordy and negative i was being. even when i was ranting about going shopping in shopping malls with stupid people around, listening to stupid mall music, looking at stupid overrated clothing and people just talking shit in general. i especially hated when i try on things in stores and the shop assistants doesn't leave me the fuck alone. i hate it when they stare because i somewhat feel fat about myself(yes i am aware that i have self esteem issues)
i'm self-conscious yet i don't give sympathy to anyone

my hi and bye friend went through my ipod today, she 'wtf' at more than half my bands.
dsfdfsfdfdsfdfdsi love it when people look at me funny after looking at my ipod. i am an asshole
i want to live in canada or america. andddd i might be getting get free clothing soon!
i'm stoked actually, look how good they look:

i heard it's really comfy@____@
*want even more*

i had a little brain storm session with my tutor today, it was brilliant and this is what i ended up writing up for my english assessment, 'who am i?'
"It is difficult for a person to sit down, and really consider all of the pieces that build upon his or her own character. Personally, I found it especially challenging when I began to write out a list of words that describe my personality, and came to realize that many of these words directly contradicted one another. However, despite this fact, the contradictions seen between words did not disprove the truth of the other, but instead worked together to effectively draw up a summary of me. For example, I am an angry person by temperament, yet can be easily overjoyed by the simplest things in life. I am, as well, an anti-social socialite: the kind of person to prefer my own remoteness, but easily adapt to unpremeditated social situations. Furthermore, my psyche is easy to understand, but impossible to figure out. It is in my nature to be multifarious, but all of my varying characteristics tie together collectively to make me the person I am."
... i surprise myself sometimes
current mood: impressed
current music: 100 grand canyon - cancer bats